So this is a topic no one talks about or no one like to admit they have thought about it….

Well I did, not right now as it was too hard to write about at the time but I did speak to my fiancé about which made all the difference to be able to do that.

It happen when I found out I had some stomach lining virus and had to take 3 different antibiotics which really knocked me around. I was thinking not another thing with everthing else and I found myself thinking I can see how people see suicide as an out and a way to stop everything. I didnt actually think specifically about dojng anything to myself I was just in a position to understand the idea more and I guess sympathize with people who have and think about it in general.

I must admit in past I sometimes thought it was selfish as you leave everyone behind and they have to deal with it but if you are in that position and not able to talk to anyone I guess you feel alone and dont think about who you are leaving behind you just need to stop the pain.

I am lucky to have an amazing partner and I’m really close with my family and I hope anyone else thinking or who is lost can find someone or something to bring them back as it is worth staying even if life is an up and down rollercoaster.



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